Your child chats, sings and tells long stories at home. But at school, at the doctor's office, or with relatives, the words disappear. Teachers may say your child "won't talk." Other people may think your child is just shy, or being stubborn. You know it is something more.

That pattern has a name: selective mutism. It is an anxiety condition, not a choice and not defiance. Your child wants to speak but feels frozen when the pressure to talk is high. The good news is that selective mutism is very treatable, especially when parents and schools are part of the plan.

What is selective mutism?

Selective mutism usually shows up between ages 2 and 5, often becoming noticeable when a child starts preschool or kindergarten. A child with selective mutism speaks comfortably in some settings, usually at home with close family, and consistently does not speak in others, such as school, for at least a month.

You might notice your child:

• Freezes, looks away or goes still when asked a question
• Uses nods, pointing or whispers instead of words
• Has a hard time with ordering food, greeting people or answering the phone
• Has tummy aches or meltdowns before school or social events
• Is talkative, silly and bossy at home

How we help

At Fox Child & Family Therapy, we start where your child feels safe. Therapy is warm and playful, and we take pressure off speaking rather than adding to it. Over time, we help your child take small, brave steps—from sounds, to words, to talking with new people and in new places.

Our work often includes:

• Play-based connection so your child feels comfortable with the therapist first
• Gradual "brave talking" steps that build confidence one small win at a time
• Parent coaching so you know what to say (and what not to say) to encourage speech without pressure
• School collaboration, with your permission, so teachers can support the same plan in the classroom
• Support for anxiety more broadly, since worry often shows up in other ways too

Some of our therapists are also trained in PCIT, a parent-coaching therapy that can be adapted to encourage speaking in young children.

What parents can do now

• Avoid labeling your child as "shy" or "the quiet one" in front of them
• Don't answer for your child right away—give a few seconds of calm waiting
• Praise brave communication of any kind, including whispers or gestures
• Keep the focus on fun, not on getting words out

Frequently Asked Questions

Is selective mutism just extreme shyness?

No. Many children with selective mutism are outgoing at home. It is an anxiety condition where the expectation to speak triggers a freeze response.

Will my child grow out of it?

Some children improve with time, but selective mutism often lasts longer and becomes harder to change without help. Early support usually makes the path easier.

Do you work with my child's school?

Yes, with your written permission. Teachers and school staff are often key partners, and we can share practical classroom strategies.

How young can a child start therapy for selective mutism?

We see children as young as preschool age. Starting early is often helpful.

Do you accept insurance for selective mutism therapy?

We are in network with Kansas Medicaid (KanCare), Missouri Medicaid plans and Aetna. Our intake team can check your benefits.

Schedule an Appointment

You don't have to figure this out alone. Call 913-229-5691 to talk with our intake team about selective mutism therapy at any of our offices or by telehealth.