What to do When Your Child Triggers Your Anxiety

It happens to all of us at some point. Our child says or does something, they have a meltdown, and we feel a sudden rush of anxiety. It doesn’t go away fast. It settles under our skin and stays with us for far too long afterward.

What do we do when our child is the reason for all that anxiety? They’re not doing it on purpose. This isn’t really their fault. But we all have triggers, and no matter how accidental this was, our anxiety is very, very real. What do we do, then? How do we react? How do we cope with this anxiety?

Identify the Triggers

We need to find out exactly what is triggering our anxiety. Is it going out for dinner with our kids? Is it simply the fact that they’re having a meltdown, and it inspires the same feeling in us? Whatever it is, we need to figure it out.

The best way to deal with anxiety is to know it. What is triggering it? Why does this specific thing make us anxious? Is there a way to avoid it? And is there a way to make it less intense if we have to face it? We will only know what to do about it once we know how it works.

Don’t Take it Out on Them

The most important thing to keep in mind is that we can’t take our anxiety out on our kids, especially if they’re having a meltdown. It’s not fair to them. We’re the adults here. Most importantly, we’re the parents. That means we need to get a handle on our emotions long enough to get the situation under control.

As parents, it’s our duty to take care of our children first. Everything else comes later. We will have time to deal with our anxiety. But we need to make sure our kids are okay first. Once that’s done, we can take a break and deal with the anxiety we’re struggling with.

Be Patient

Anxiety isn’t easy to cope with, and parenting is hardly a walk in the park. When the two are mixed together, things become even more complicated. But we don’t have to put that much pressure on ourselves.

It’s okay if our kids sometimes trigger us. Parenting is a whole process we need to learn, and it’ll take time. Anxiety also has its own needs. The best thing we can do when we’re struggling is to be kind to ourselves. Throwing judgments around will only make us feel worse. This is unfortunate, but it happens. It’s not our fault. It’s not our kids’ fault. We’re not the only person this has happened to.

Whatever happens, we’ll be okay.

Try Coping Mechanisms

If we’ve been dealing with anxiety for a long time, then we already have some coping mechanisms to help get us through an anxiety attack. Maybe it’s breathing exercises. Or maybe we need to let it all out so we write things down in a journal. Whatever helps us deal with our anxiety, that’s what we have to do as soon as we have a moment to ourselves.

We may be parents, but we have to take care of ourselves too. Using our coping mechanisms when we need them is a part of that. Another thing we can do is to try therapy. Fox Child and Family Therapy can help you deal with your anxiety. Contact us today, 913-229-5691.