How to Help Your Child Struggling with Social Anxiety

Some kids are naturally shy, but others struggle with social anxiety. Those two things are not the same. Social anxiety is far more intense than shyness, and it can affect kids in a number of ways. Social situations cause them genuine distress, and it won’t magically go away.

As parents, we want nothing more than to help our children when they’re going through tough times. And in this case, we can. We may not be able to get rid of their social anxiety completely, but we can do a few things to help them cope with it.

Talk to Them

This is the most important thing. We can’t help our children if we don’t know exactly what they need help with. The only way to do that is to talk to them. We need to find a moment where we can sit down and discuss their social anxiety with them. What exactly is it they struggle with? Why does that make them so anxious?

Once we know that, we can help them find solutions to their problems. Not everything will necessarily have a solution, but we can still help them process. For example, if our child gets anxious when going to restaurants because ordering makes them nervous, help them learn a script they can rely on when it’s time to order. Anxiety is a little easier to bear with when you have a plan to fall back on.

Keep Them Informed

Something that can cause anxiety in our kids is the unknown. And that’s understandable. As adults, we can get nervous about new things, too. But when our kids have social anxiety, their struggles are particularly intense. The best way to help them in that case is to explain how things will go.

If we let them know what to expect, that takes away the fear of what might happen. They’ll be a little more at ease since they have an idea of what comes next. They won’t be walking into a stressful situation blind. And if we can reassure them and help them feel more at ease, why wouldn’t we?

Help Them Relax

This might sound a little obvious, but if our children struggle with any kind of anxiety, one of the most important things we can do is teach them how to soothe themselves when they’re anxious. Is there a kind of music they like that they can listen to when they get anxious? What about breathing exercises?

All people are different, and it’s the same for kids. What helps soothe one of them may make another’s anxiety worse. As their parents, it’s our job to help our kids figure out what helps calm them down. It may take trial and error, but with a little effort, we can find coping mechanisms that will make a difference.

Rather than brushing anxiety aside, we should ask our children to paint a picture of when they were anxious last. We can help them pick out details using their five senses and tangible specifics that help us enter the memory with them. This exercise helps our kids feel less alone when they think of that memory and, potentially, less anxious.

Seek Professional Help

If our children’s social anxiety is too severe, then as their parents, we must take them to a professional. As parents, there is only so much we can do. As much as we wish we could solve all our kids’ problems for them, that’s not realistic. And counselors are much better qualified than us to help our children cope and move forward despite their social anxiety.

If we truly want to help our children, finding them the help they need is the best we can do. Making an appointment with a counselor is how we do that. Fox Child and Family Therapy is here to provide additional support if and when you’re ready. Don’t hesitate to make an appointment. Call 913-229-5691.