Helping Your Strong Willed Child Harness Their Full Potential… Without Losing Your Mind

Children are wonderful, but they can be a lot of work. A strong-willed child, in particular, can be difficult to deal with. We love them, of course. They’re our children, after all. But that doesn’t mean their assertiveness and defiance don’t leave us frustrated at times.

While parenting a strong-willed child can feel like a constant power struggle, it doesn’t have to be. We just have to adapt our parenting style so that we can let our child grow into the wonderful person they’re meant to be, without losing our minds. And that’s not as difficult as we might think.

Let Them Learn

Strong-willed kids tend to learn through experience. It’s how they find their place in the world and figure out how boundaries work. While as parents we’d prefer them to learn in other, less scary ways, it’s in their best interest if we let them learn at their own pace in the way that works best for them.

Of course, that doesn’t mean we should let them injure themselves. On the contrary, we should intervene if that’s the case. However, age-appropriate risky play is essential for the development of all children, especially strong-willed ones.

Avoid Yelling

Yelling is our first instinct, especially when we’re scared or tired or frustrated. But yelling too often actually hurts our child and our relationship with them in the long run. It doesn’t teach them to regulate their emotions, and it makes them feel unloved. That’s not what we want. We want to be able to have a positive relationship with our child in the future.

What does that mean, then? Well, we have to learn to pick our battles. We target the most dangerous behaviors first. Everything else can come later. And, of course, we learn how to communicate with our child, so they can actually learn why what they’re doing is wrong or dangerous.

Talk to Each Other

Communication goes both ways. We want our children to understand what behaviors are inappropriate and why. The key is explaining why in ways they can easily understand. But we must also learn to listen to them. We need to be able to understand why certain things matter to them. That way, we’ll learn to compromise better.

Yes, we will need to compromise. We are our children’s parents, and we want what’s best for them. But our children are their own people, too. They’re young, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have minds of their own. And as parents, we want to nurture that.

Positive Approach

We want to have a good relationship with our child. That’s why, while we do need to discipline them at times, that shouldn’t be the only thing we do. We can keep an eye out and pay attention to their behaviors so we can praise or reward the good ones. That way they’ll know we’re aware of the good they do, too. They’ll know we’re not just trying to catch them doing inappropriate things we can scold them over

If we can find the time to do fun activities together, that’s even better. Our kids are kids, after all. They should be able to have fun as they grow and learn, and what better place is there than for us to be right beside them?

Take Care of Yourself

Of course, parenting a strong-willed child won’t be easy. It can and will take its toll on us. But if we have trouble communicating with our child, then Fox Child and Family Therapy is here to help. Reach us today, 913-229-5691.